Assumption College: Campus Ministry

I’ve been putting off this very Candlelight since last year. I remember as if it was yesterday when Steve, Erin, & good ol’ Chrissy Hanchett stood out here just like we are, reminiscing about their four years, wishing they could go back in time, and of course, sadly saying their goodbyes.

And I couldn’t help but think to myself “Thank God I’m not in their shoes. Thank God I still have another year left. Thank God I don’t have to say my goodbyes.”

Well, I can’t pretend anymore. I am in their shoes, I don’t have another year left, and I do have to say my goodbyes. As hard as that is to accept, it’s true.

So, as I sat in front of the computer screen deciding on what I could possibly talk about that wouldn’t make you all cry or, even worse, put you to sleep, I decided that my parting gift to all of you would be a checklist of sorts, a “To Do List for Your College life”, if you will.

I hope this checklist, with my ever-corny humor allows you to appreciate the simple things in life, and to make each moment count. With graduation quickly approaching, I’ve depended more on this list than I thought I ever would. I hope you do too.

I leave you now with a quote I used at my very first Candlelight last August. Ironically, the theme was New Beginnings. As scared as I am to leave this beautiful place, I am confident I will take with me a powerful sense of hope and possibilities for the future. So, when you’re leaving tonight walking back to your rooms, wondering about your future, and thinking back to your first day in college, remember these words: “Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment--this day--is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day--each moment of this day--a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity.” Here I am.

Goodbyes (May 1, 2007)
by Caitlin Fitzpatrick, '07

I don’t think saying goodbye is really something you can prepare for. Regardless of how much time you may have, it is not until the moment actually arrives that you feel the effect of parting in its fullest capacity. Nevertheless, I do know that there is one of two ways you can approach this seemingly undesirable situation. You can either a.) Be sad that the experience is over, or b.) Recognize that if it weren’t for goodbyes, we could never say hello again, which is always an incredible occasion. I prefer to relish in the second option.

As a graduating senior, I am anticipating conducting a number of goodbyes in the upcoming weeks. I am not particularly excited about it, but I know in my heart that those I have come to know and love will forever be with me, and that the physical space between two people can not compete with the closeness offered by having created a special connection with friends.

As my time here at Assumption comes to a close, I find myself reflecting more and more on my first day as a freshman. I remember having felt prepared as I drove up to school, my stereo, my shower caddy, and my Mom & Dad in tow. I didn’t know what to expect, but I found a certain amount of bliss in my ignorance. While I no doubt felt vulnerable, there was also something overwhelmingly exciting about arriving to a new school, with new people, and new surroundings. I knew I would be alone, that I would have only myself to rely on, and that spending money, doing laundry, and making friends were each tasks that I would have to conduct without the assistance of somebody else. Regardless, having all of this in mind, I was still struck with an uproar of emotion when it finally came time to say goodbye to my parents. Unexpectedly, and slightly embarrassingly, I cried. The tears I couldn’t manage to wipe away with my hand were left to be absorbed by the sleeve of my father’s t-shirt. Had I known then what I do now about the unbelievable four years that lay ahead, I’m sure the situation would have included far less tears and much more laughter. Deep down I knew I was ready, but at the time I found saying goodbye to be a challenge.

“Cait,” my dad would say, “You’re ready.” This is exactly what he told me the first time I transitioned from one school to the next, and twice more after having completed both my middle school and high school careers. Each time I graduated from one institution I found myself saying goodbye to one part of my life, while occupying deep feelings of excitement as I entered into the next phase. He reiterated this same statement as we stood together in Salisbury and I hugged him and my mom goodbye.
Over time, goodbyes have gotten easier, but only because experience has taught me that goodbye is not an end, but a beginning. I suppose that what I learned from that first goodbye is the very lesson I hope to take with me come graduation day. That as I say farewell to one part of my life, I am delving into another part, one that I anticipate will be just as wonderful, if not better than the last.

Before I conclude this evening, I would just like to say a few words about some of the things that have made Assumption so great. Therefore, Charlie’s, you have been the culprit of my procrastination and I am going to miss you and your ever-pulsating atmosphere. The Chapel of the Holy Spirit, you have been the source of my strength and a huge contributing factor to my spiritual growth. D’Alzon, while I loathed having secluded myself in your quiet stacks, I thank you for providing me a non-distracting place to conduct my studies. The Plourde Recreation Center, your indoor track needs help - that I must admit. Nevertheless, I appreciate your dedication to keeping me healthy and in tune. These places I will miss, but will find far easier to say goodbye to than to the actual people who have made my time at Assumption so amazing. Allow me to offer all my friends who have turned into family one more word of wisdom from my dad. Knowing full well that I value my friendships above all else, my dad always reminds me that the people I have met here and who have become my truest friends are those who I will remain close to long after college is over, and who I will make it a point to keep in touch with because I honor them, I respect them, and I love them so deeply. He’s exactly right. With that being said, I will say goodbye to each of you now, but only to say hello to you again not too far down the road. Always in my heart. I love you.

To Breathe
To breathe, to feel, and to bear witness
To the Pacific Ocean
Cradled by a Van Gogh nighttime sky
Is to experience a rush of excitement
That reminds you you’re alive
Flat rocks puzzle-pieced together
Form a smooth platform below my feet
That extends into the ocean
Where the lofty waves and I may meet
Those with whom I have come
Are distant figures to me now
The lighthouse, stars, and endless ocean
Are the only friends whom I allow
I am curious and cautious,
And am seduced by the grandeur of the sea
I want so badly to be one with her,
And to succumb to the powers that be
I descend upon the rocks
Coated in salt water waves
I am getting closer now
My soul, the ocean saves
I am standing on the edge of earth
Looking at a horizon a million miles away
The sun will emerge from there
To reveal a brand new day
But at this moment, I do not seek the sun
I do not wait for dawn to break
I am happy underneath a scattered display of stars
Where the sweeping tides stir my soul to wake
In a moment, so calm and so serene
I am aware that God is near
I am overwhelmed by his presence
That He should reveal Himself here
In the moon that illuminates the sky
In the saltwater breeze that caresses my skin
In the sounds of the ocean
In the heart that beats within
Enveloped in the beauty of the night
Moved by emotion
I can feel His love
Through having been acquainted with the ocean

I hold myself under the water, closing my eyes, trying my very hardest to relax and hold my breath for as long as possible. Engaged in a competition of endurance with my sister, I am determined to win the contest for holding my breath the longest. As the seconds pass my body is reaching its physical limits as my lungs ache for air. Mentally, I attempt to silence the instinct to rise above the forceful and confining water above my head. I send up a quick prayer asking for added strength to carry me to victory. Next to me I feel my sister struggling, and finally giving up, surfacing. In relief I follow suit and as I rise above the water my lungs gasp for air, grateful for the oxygen that they have been denied over the past moments.

However trivial this sibling-induced competition may be, it represents on a much smaller scale, the wearisome journey towards reaching goals, desires and dreams. Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you. Just as I struggled under the water wanting more than anything to reach the oxygen-filled air above my head, more than anything my dreams that lie deep within my soul beckon deep inside calling to be fulfilled. In parallel to the physical, mental and spiritual trials induced in my holding-your-breath-under-water-competition, to reach a dream is not always a piece of cake.

As sophomores in college, my parents got married as a result of getting pregnant. This difficult decision of getting pregnant, getting married, and then having a child, required my dad to sacrifice his long-sought and well-deserved dream of becoming a doctor. It was apparent that in order to raise a family, he had to sacrifice an extremely personal and revered ambition. My father handled this decision not only with stamina, but also with great character, commitment, and honesty. With my sister first, then me a year later, my parents finished college with two kids, and a third on the way. As I put myself in that same place, it is hard for me to comprehend how my parents got through finals week with two kids, work, and a full schedule. Later in life, my dad became the “stay at home mom,” working nights and staying with me and my sisters during the day.

Throughout these extremely trying times, my dad kept his dream in the back of his mind, relying on faith, optimism and passion to eventually carry him to fulfill his dream. As a 40 year old man, my dad decided to apply to dental school. Initially, he was dealt a heart-breaking blow as he was denied acceptance. However, just as I held my breath just a little bit longer, my dad found the strength to apply once again, and is now vigorously working to accomplish his inherent ambition.

Every day my dad feels the drowning struggles that he must overcome to reach his dream in the form of impossible tests, tedious tooth carvings, and the difficulty of fitting into a group of students that are 20 years his junior. His dream however, gives him strength, strength to surmount these barriers and fulfill his soul’s desire, holding on, to finally rise above the water, emerge victorious, and take a deep, fulfilling breath in. My dad’s persistence has inspired me to take on the whole world, overcome all possibilities of defeat, and tirelessly chase my own dreams.

It was the start of a brand new school year. The second week into sophomore year. Finally no longer a freshman. But there would soon be an end to something much bigger than all of us, and an event that would change our country forever.

September 11, 2001. I can still picture myself sitting in homeroom that morning. It was a about ten minutes to 10 when I first heard the news. The rumors that had echoed the hallways for the last hour had been confirmed. “Two jets have attacked the twin towers in the city, Fr. Brian said. I ask that we just keep these people in our prayers this morning”. That was all. There was no mention that New York City had lost its skyline, that thousands had lost their lives, and that America had lost it’s innocence. That was all we heard, and I sat there in homeroom, second row, first seat, and thought to myself, “what country decided to send just two F-16’s all the way here to shoot two missiles into two huge structures, and then fly away”. Kind of pointless I thought. Ignorant? Quite. But looking back, ignorance never felt so right especially since it kept us free from the horrible truths of that day just a little longer.

Over the course of the day, teachers didn’t touch the topic. They didn’t know what had happened and that was it. But by 1 o’clock some parents began pulling there kids out of school and a feeling of panic began to set in. The school was about 35 minutes outside Manhattan, but there were kids from all over Long Island, and I knew that many had family or friends that worked in the city, as did I. When school let out at about 2:45, I walked on the bus and asked a senior what was going on with the World Trade Center? He said, “it’s gone, there is no World Trade Center”. When I got home, my mother was in shock. She had been sent home from work early because she worked near Brookhaven Laboratory, a federal building that had a nuclear reactor and tight security to begin with. She could hardly gather her thoughts together as she tried to explain what had happened. By this time, there wasn’t much to look at when I turned on the TV. Thick smoke, soot, ash, and fire blanketed most of lower Manhattan. She told my brother and I that we were all going to know of someone who was killed. We new many people that had worked somewhere in the city and for the remainder of the night we waited to hear from these friends and family members. We were lucky, the ones close to us were alive, but for people like my uncle who went to 43 of his friend’s funerals, there were many who suffered much more.

In the weeks that followed, there was emotional chaos as we found out who had not made it home that night, and wondered who on earth was responsible for this. But out of the rubble arose stories of heroism, and in the confident words of a newly elected president, I knew the country was going to be alright. We all know that the world hasn’t been the same since, and I’m sure we can all remember where we were when we heard the news. But it is imperative that we all remember the heroes. Remember the father of two young girls form the Long Island suburbs who left for work one morning and never came back. Remember the firefighter from Rescue 4 who died in the line of duty. Remember the Franciscan chaplain who was killed while giving last rights at the foot of the towers. In that act of war, all gave some, and some gave all, and it’s our job to never forget that.

When I think of sacrifice, the first person that comes to my mind is my mom. My mom has made so many sacrifices for myself and my three brothers, starting with her college education. My mom attended Ithaca College for two years in the physical therapy program when she realized that she did not want to go into that field. Plus, she had met my dad and she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She decided to stop wasting her parents’ money and stopped going to school. She married my dad and before you knew it, she had my oldest brother, Mike, followed by Matt, me, and finally Marc. Finishing college would just have to wait.

My mom was the epitome of the great stay-at-home mom. She played with us all day and managed to do the laundry, cleaning, ironing, and cooking. But being an incredible mother wasn’t the only thing that my mom was good at; my mom is an amazing teacher. When my brothers and I were in elementary school, my mom would frequently volunteer in classrooms that needed some help. That led her to be a cafeteria and recess monitor. Eventually, she became a full-time employee as a teacher’s aide and special needs teacher. However, there was one thing that was holding her back from her dream; she did not have the college degree. In Massachusetts, you can not teach until you have earned your masters in education. My mom did not even have a bachelor’s degree. Countless people would come up and tell my mom that she would make a great teacher and that she should go back to school. However, my mom continued to put my family first. She did not want to have to miss my brothers’ and my athletic games or awards banquets because she had to go to class. It’s amazing to think that my mom would rather go to an insignificant field hockey game instead of pursuing her goal of becoming a teacher.

After many years of encouragement and prodding, I’m so proud and happy to say that my mom is currently in her first semester of college getting her degree in early childhood education. It’s so amazing that we are both working towards our masters in education at the same time. She calls me when she needs help with her homework and we chat about what we want to do in our future classrooms. My mom thinks that it would be perfect for us to have back-to-back classrooms in the same school once we both finish. It’s pretty incredible to have my mom to walk side by side with me on the same journey towards our future careers. Her sacrifices have paved the road for this journey. I could not have asked for a better mom, and I can only hope to become as good a teacher and mother as she is.

When I think about the many gifts in my life, I do not think of presents under the Christmas tree, or the special talents that people might possess; rather, I think of the the people around me who make things seem like one huge unopened gift. My grandmother, who I affectionately called "Gaga," immediately comes to mind as one of the most special gifts in my life.

Gaga has been a constant reminder for me of what it means to be happy. There was hardly a time when Gaga wasn't smiling, or even grinning after making a practical joke on my brother and me. She loved when laughter filled the room, and always took the time to show us how great it was to laugh until our stomachs hurt. She would make me feel that the simplest of gifts, like a card or a teddy bear, were the greatest presents she'd ever received.

She always made a point to tell everyone she met how beautiful they were and loved a room full of people. She never wanted to miss a party either.

She put everyone else before her, and did so with humility and grace. She cared for her children and grandchildren like no other and instilled in each one of us a sense of pride, honesty, integrity, and, above all else, faith - gifts that cannot be bought or bargained for.

Gaga was unique and special in her own right. She was a woman before her time, and did things totally out of the ordinary. She never missed an opportunity to play cards with her girlfriends; was just as concerned with how her hair looked at the age of 94 as any 16-year-old would be; and was known for her quick temper, always putting people in their place when they were in the wrong. She was incredibly proud of being 100% Irish and relished in telling us grandkids stories of her many visits to Ireland.

It is without a doubt that I would not be the person I am today had my grandmother not been in my life. I have learned so much from her in just 20 short years. I've learned what it means to hold a grudge, that age is not defined by years, but by the quality of one's life; that it's important to find the good in people, no matter how hidden that good might be; and that the dreams you make for yourself can easily come true, as long as you work hard for what you believe in.

Gaga is now in heaven, watching over my family and me. She has left her legacy behind, leaving a mark on so many people. She is in a place none of us can even imagine, a place where she is at peace. I know that she would only want me to be happy, remembering with joy the life she so graciously lived. What I will remember most about Gaga is her strength, compassion, and this story about her love of family:

A few short weeks ago, my brother and I went home to visit our family for the weekend. We got home late at night, but wanted so much to wake Gaga up and surprise her. She had no idea we were coming home and had expressed to my mom how much she missed seeing us. We walked in the house, and sat down next to her bed, trying to be as quiet as possible. When she woke up and saw us there by her side, she immediately began to smile and gestured to us to give her a hug. We talked for a few minutes, talking about what was going on with us and how good it was to be with her. A few moments later, Gaga grew silent, then leaned over, and said ever so softly to my mother, brother and me that having all of us there with her was the best present anyone could have ever given her.

That moment, in turn, was Gaga's greatest gift to me. It is a precious moment that will stay with me always. I never felt so close to my family as I did that night. I believe it was God's way of showing me the kind of gifts that are present in this world: a simple smile to a stranger, a call to a long lost friend, forgiving an enemy, the loving eyes of a grandmother.

Gaga was God's gift to the world, just as Jesus is a gift to all of humankind. During the Advent season, it's important to recognize the people in our lives who bring us so many special gifts. I know I'll carry thoughts of Gaga wherever I go, and I will remember with a smile my wild Irish Rose. Gaga's presence is still with me, an everlasting gift that can be opened and opened again.

In the hearts of those who reach out to others in times of despair and destruction

When a grandmother looks up at her grandchildren with loving eyes and says ever so softly that them being here was the best present anyone could ever give her

When you hold a newborn for the first time and think in wonder how such a precious miracle can be created

In the family gathered around the table giving thanks to Him for all their blessings

When two little girls decided to send their favorite toys, so that the children affected by Hurricane Katrina would have something to smile about

In a smile that, no how matter small it seems, just fits into an empty place in your heart

On a misty cool September night by the ocean with the crashing of the waves, and a lighthouse in the background guiding you home

When, after a cold and harsh winter, a single red rose finds its way out of the snow

When a person decides to run back into a burning building when everyone else runs out

When you realize unexpectedly for the first time in your life, you have fallen in love

After a thunderstorm, when the skies begin to clear and the sun’s rays peak through the parting clouds

In the mother that works three jobs just to make sure her children are fed every night

God is all around us and ever-present. If you have trouble finding God, just look around you. He’s there sitting beside you tonight, waiting for you as you go home, and will be with you when you wake up for a new day. He’s in the faces of those you know, and ones you don’t know. If we take the time to reach deep inside ourselves, we will find God and come to know Him as a part of us. God will never abandon us. A wise Indian leader spoke about finding God within ourselves. He said, “Where can we go to find God if we cannot see Him in our own hearts and in every living being?” In Isaiah, God says, “Do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.”God will forever be in our lives. It’s up to us to accept this fact and embrace it with all that we have. I often say to myself how lonely would I be, if I did have God to turn to. If we seek out God’s presence, we will be rewarded with an eternity filled with happiness, peace, but above all, you will see love.

Saying Goodbye (May 8, 2005)
by Claire Lajoie '05

They used to say that time goes by so fast, that I should embrace each moment, make the best of each day, and live it up. I never thought the time would come when I would be the one telling these same things to others, but now, after four years at Assumption College, I am the one being sent out the door, hoping I did enough, learned enough, laughed enough, cared enough, and loved enough to be able to say it was worth it.

It’s funny that the things we learn, I mean really learn, come when we’re busy doing other things. It has been when I wanted it least and resisted it the most that I began to learn what college was about. And I discovered that college wasn’t about being like everyone else. It wasn’t about the classes I attended, the papers I wrote, the stress I’d feel when a million things were all due at once. It wasn’t about the times I did or didn’t go to the gym, the way I’d complain about Taylor food and parking tickets and snow removal and lack of cancelled classes. It wasn’t about the times I wanted to go home and didn’t want to come back, the times I thought that maybe enough was enough.

After four years here and six days left until graduation, I have found that the things that have mattered the most are the things that can’t be put into words—the home Assumption has become, sometimes for better, other times for worse, the people you see around campus who say hi and may even know you by name though you can’t remember where you first met them, the commradery of borrowing shovels, trash cans, etc. to dig out snowed in cars, and the attempt to walk through Charlie’s though you stop and talk to every other person.

For me, the most important things I have found at AC are the people—the ones who supported me through thick and thin, the ones who challenged me to see things, or even myself, differently, people who would ask how I was doing and mean it, the ones I could go to when I was frustrated and holding made tears and a hug was the best cure. It was the people who would leave me notes in my mailbox just because, those I laughed with and others that I could just be with without saying anything at all. The knocks I would receive on our door for surprise visitors, people I shared Dinner and Discussion, START retreats, Mission trips, God, and my faith with, people who understood and encouraged me to talk things out, have confidence in myself, and know that everything would be ok. So, in a weird and unexpected way, what I found after four years was who I am, how I have changed and been made into a better person because of so many people. I have also discovered the person I want to become as I have witnessed the unique and special qualities and gifts of those who have reached out to me and touched me in countless ways.

I was never sad when I graduated high school and sometimes I thought I wouldn’t be sad graduating college either. But I have proven that hypothesis wrong whenever I stop and think about the influence the people here have had on me simply by being themselves. So, if you were to ask me, “Was it worth it?,” I’d say every minute of it, not just the good times when things were going my way, but also the struggles and challenges that enabled me to trust God and others more than I had ever wanted to or needed to in the past. It was worth it because I know that once I cross the stage on Saturday, pack up my things, hand in my keys, and drive away from 500 Salisbury Street for the last time, I will remember the things that classes couldn’t teach and books couldn’t show. What will matter is everything that has been imprinted on who I am, not because of this little place in Worcester, Mass, but because of the ones who have made it my home.

Remembrance (November 9, 2004)
by Steve Pagios '06

I remember the look on her face when we used to jump on her bed to wake her up. That feeling of surprise lined with love as she hugged us all good morning.

I remember taking off on that plane back home and seeing the tears swell in her eyes because she knew that she would have to wait 2 more months before seeing us again.

I remember when she came back home and we would all go visit her and the first thing on her mind was making sure we had enough food in our stomachs.

I remember going over to her house when the TV was out in ours and giving up her daily soap operas to make sure we saw our cartoons.

I remember her look at Christmas time when all her grandchildren would gather by the tree and rip open any present that was closest to us.

I remember her hugs as we would give her the smallest present that was made in school or picked up last minute.

I remember the genuine love and affection she gave with every kiss and smile each time we stopped over to see her.

I remember that message from my parents when I was at the basketball game that told me to call them right away when I got home.

I remember the second they told that she had died and the sudden rush of emotion that violently dropped me straight to the floor.

I remember having to gain the strength to go outside to tell my younger sisters that our grandmother was no longer going to be there.

I remember the wake and seeing all of my family together as one, side by side, never letting go and always holding on to each other.

I remember the funeral and getting my final look at this beautiful woman that gave so much to me and brought so much meaning into my life.

I remember the love she gave her 6 children, 20 grandchildren, and countless other people that never stopped at a hug or kiss, but left an everlasting feelings that would last eternity.

Grandma, I know you have been gone now for over four years now, but I want to tell you that there is not a day that goes by that I don’t remember you. I remember all the love you gave to me, and all the sacrifices you gave up on the part of your grandchildren. We could never forget the endless amounts of love you showed us everyday when you were here.

I just want to tell you that we are all doing well down here, and we are still staying strong together. You should see all of your grandchildren grown up now…in high school, college, and even graduated. Paul is two years old now and is still the most adorable thing anyone has ever seen. Laura is over in Australia studying abroad and having the time of her life. Grandpa is staying strong; him and that dog Zeek are travel buddies to and from Florida. Mom is also doing well. I know she still misses you a lot because I hear her cry sometime at night. I still think she thinks about you every time she sees all of her children. We all still really miss you.

Christmas is so close now and this is when we all remember you the most. We all come together as a family and share our stories about you. I swear, it’s like sometimes I can still see you there yelling at Uncle Ed for all the inappropriate comments he’s saying about how he was raised.

Well gram, it’s time for me to leave, but I really want to tell you that I miss you. I love you so much and thank you for the life you have given me and to your family. If it wasn’t for you being the backbone of this family, we would not what we are today. Thank you and I love you.

Heroes (September 11, 2001)
by Robyn Kennedy '03

Two children sat together on a park bench.
They shared much in common, they were the same age.
They loved the same music and they loved the same books.
They sat together on a park bench and exchanged stories of their days.
They talked about their families, and their past.
They shared chocolate chip cookies as they talked and laughed.
The two children who came together came from two different worlds.
They came from two very different countries -
Countries that only met on a battlefield.
These two children sat on the park bench
and saw past all that divides.
They saw past the color of their skin.
They sat at a distance from the bombs and fighting.
It did not matter to them who was right or wrong.
It did not matter to them who would win.
The two children sat together as friends.
"My daddy went into battle today," one of the girls said with a sob.
"I am afraid he is not coming home - I don't understand why."
The other, without words, placed her arm
around her friend's shoulder.
A simple gesture was all it took
to move past all the needless fighting.
Two friends from different worlds
sat together in peace on a park bench.
Imagine if we could all sit together like little children.